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  1. #281
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Yesterday, I went for a walk with a beautiful girl. Once she noticed me, we went for a run.

  2. #282
    creepycrawler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rex Ashton View Post
    Yesterday, I went for a walk with a beautiful girl. Once she noticed me, we went for a run.
    Ha!
    From the only state in the USA where O'dumbass failed to carry a single county. :hail:

  3. #283
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Inventor: So a flying balloon
    Me: I'm with ya
    Inventor: big flame over your head
    Me: Sounds good
    Inventor: No steering
    Me: Excellent
    Inventor: <snorting coke> and you're in a wicker basket
    Me: I'm in

  4. #284
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    STD's are proof that sharing isn't necessarily caring

  5. #285
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    I'd be the 1st NFL coach to challenge the coin toss

  6. #286
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    The dreamiest member of the animal kingdom must the platypus, which logs up to eight hours of REM sleep a day.

  7. #287
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    Chase McLaughlin’s overtime kick was even too far left for San Francisco

  8. #288
    Dave McDonald's Avatar
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    We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
    Lunatic #15
    "A government big enough to give you a righteous buzz is also big enough to harsh your mellow." -Zapp
    Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati

  9. #289
    creepycrawler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave McDonald View Post
    We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

    Amen to that.

  10. #290
    crashXJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave McDonald View Post
    We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
    I think that is called birth control. And Darwinism.

    #StupidShouldHurtMore
    This is my boom stick.

  11. #291
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    Someone needs to put an end to all the Epstein memes as they won't kill themselves.

  12. #292
    creepycrawler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aaron View Post
    Someone needs to put an end to all the Epstein memes as they won't kill themselves.
    I dont do the book of feces but all the guys out in the shop are always showing me some of them. Some are funny and some are just stupid. Who has the time to make all of those things. They obviously must live in their moms basement and dont have a job.

  13. #293
    Don S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by creepycrawler View Post
    I dont do the book of feces but all the guys out in the shop are always showing me some of them. Some are funny and some are just stupid. Who has the time to make all of those things. They obviously must live in their moms basement and dont have a job.
    ..
    ..

    I do but don't like to hang ... around those folks...

    Don S..
    Burleson Tx, Where the Honey's have lotsa Miilk!
    Colorado Mountain Pass Collector for 30 years with 161
    1976 401 Wagoneer 1999 Frontier V6 4x4

  14. #294
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don S View Post
    ..
    ..

    I do but don't like to hang ... around those folks...

    Don S..
    Ha!

  15. #295
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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  16. #296
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    If you work overtime at McDonald's is that considered a Mcdouble?

  17. #297
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    There are more male CEOs named Peter than there are female CEOs, period. So if you have a daughter and you want her to be a CEO, name her Peter.

  18. #298
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Need to get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays?

    Put it in Amazon boxes and leave them on your front porch.

  19. #299
    crashXJ's Avatar
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    Its bad luck to miss your birthday.

  20. #300
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    The probability of getting attacked by a gorilla at any point is very low. But it is never zero.

  21. #301
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    A friend confessed a physical abnormality and said he had an extra testicle... I regret if I embarrassed him with my surprised reaction when I blurted out, "Wow, you have 4?"

  22. #302
    vb's Avatar
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    I thought everyone had 4????

  23. #303
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Be brave enough to suck at something new

  24. #304
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Sometimes it takes 10 years to get that 1 year can change your life

  25. #305
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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  26. #306
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Elon Musk and Bill Gates should team up to create a cure for erectile dysfunction and call it Elongates.

  27. #307
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    So many people these days are too judgmental .... I can tell by just looking at them.

  28. #308
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    I used to be cool... now I am just my dog's snacks dealer

  29. #309
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    I wonder if rocks are actually all soft and squishy, but they just tense up when things touch them.

  30. #310
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Definition of the Day:

    Askhole (n.) A person who constantly asks for advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them. They often then ask you to help fix the result.

  31. #311
    creepycrawler's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rex Ashton View Post
    Definition of the Day:

    Askhole (n.) A person who constantly asks for advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them. They often then ask you to help fix the result.
    Sounds right.

  32. #312
    The Original Opie-Gone-Bad!!! Aaron's Avatar
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    Everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but how many know where the Minneapolis???

  33. #313
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Chain reactions are usually described with dominos, not chains.

  34. #314
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    Cutting a corner creates 2 more corners

  35. #315
    Real Estate Flippa Rex Ashton's Avatar
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    The first human must've held a ton of world records at some point

  36. #316
    Quote Originally Posted by Rex Ashton View Post
    Cutting a corner creates 2 more corners
    My son needs to hear this! And if I am honest, I could take it to heart too!
    God Forgives, Rock's Don't www.ucora.org
    1973 Bronco, 351 SEFI, Locked, discs, 35's ZF-5spd and Atlas 4spd. 235:1 Crawl Ratio

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