I hate Telemarketers

[jeepn4evr]

Our business has been getting lots of political calls & telemerkenting calls lately. Some of them even at like 7 or 8 at night. We are on call 24 hrs a day so someone answers the phone & then tells them whoever (usually one of the owners)they are looking for isn't there. Whats funny is a few times they ask for an owner that hasn't been with the business for like 10 years. You can always tell if its a telemarketer, you answer & there is a 5 sec pause before someone says "is this so & so?" & in the background you can hear a lot of background noise of other people talking.

Anyway I am getting fed up with it. So I got a call this morning & decided not to let them talk to who they wanted unless they could explain very well what they wanted. FYI the owners of the busniess are my dad & uncle so I know I won't get in trouble for weeding out idiots.

Converstaion went like this:

ME: ServiceMaster Clean this is John (standard greeting, only thing changed between anyone else answering phone is their name so whoever calls should know who they are talking to if they are listening)

5 sec pause & with people in background I hear

TM: Is this ServiceMaster of Bear? (not our full name, close but not all of it)

ME: Maybe

TM: you don't know name of business you wrok for?

ME: I do but sounds like you are a Telemarketer & you don't know who you are calling

TM: Well I have Service MAster of Bear on my screen so is that your name?

ME: MAybe, what are you calling about?

TM: I need to speak with Doug. Are you Doug? (my dad)

ME: No (didn't you listen to my greeeting stupid women) Can I ask what you would like to talk to him about?

TM: I am with Discover services, we handle your credit processing services. (pretty sure they don't & confirmed this after getting off call). YOu don't sound like a very goos business. You don't know the name of your business & I can't talk to who I wan't to talk with.

ME: Let me explain, we get a lot (sound of dead air) hello?, hello? (they hung up just as I was getting afull head of steam to say we get alot of call from Telemarketers & you sound like one with all the noise behind you & not knowing who we are. We are all very busy & every call that I can screen out from takng time out of someones day saves us time so unless you can verify you aren't a telemarketer & tell me exactly what you want you won't speak to anyone else here.)

Shorter version of this call I have used in past is me "accidently" hanging up on them when I put them on hold to get person they asked for. Anyone do anything else to screw with them. I thought we were on the do not call list, but apparently not & can't remember how to get back on there. I think next time I am going to ask for their number to have person call them back & then call them back my self & try to sell them something.

[newracer]

We get a lot of calls too. You can register your number here to minimize the calls.

https://www.donotcall.gov/

[Big Dave]

I just hang up on 'em. We get a bunch of collection agency calls at home from someone who used to have our home #. Those are always fun cuz they never believe you when you tell them you have no clue who that person is.

[jeepingpete]

My dad had a friend who had a laughing Hiena stuffed animal. You shook it and it laughed like crazy. He would get the telemarketers going and then when they propose their sale, he would let rip with Hiena laugh. Everyone had a good laugh and he would tell them politely no thanks and please don't call again.

[1973CJ5]

I like giving them to my 3 year old to talk to, she enjoys talking on the phone and most TMs seem to be at the same intelligence level.

[Big Dave]

GREATEST solicitation call evAr:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

[jeepn4evr]

thanks did it

Just got another call & I just didn't say anything was totally quiet. She was like Hello? Hello? until she hung up

[WhtJeep]

Wow. You have got to be a pretty big dick for them to hang up ON YOU! I've tried but never accomplished that feet.

[jeepn4evr]

GREATEST solicitation call evAr:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

ROFLMAO :eek: :D

Hilarious I will have to rememberr that

[jredmond]

Wow. You have got to be a pretty big dick for them to hang up ON YOU! I've tried but never accomplished that feet.

You are not pushing them hard enough. Somethings that always make them hangup on me is hit on them, talk about rashes, or beotch about a some guy you picked up at the bar (I am not gay but it makes them squirm). It passes the time when you are bored and is lots of fun.

Also look up Special Ed on youtube.

[Waifer2112]

Wow. You have got to be a pretty big dick for them to hang up ON YOU! I've tried but never accomplished that feet.

No, you don't. I got a call once that asked for the owner of the house. I asked who this was, and she asked if I was the owner again. I asked who this is, and she said "well, if you're not the owner, I don't want to talk to you" and hung up on me!!
Like it was I who were troubling her!

[deadjeep]

I haven't had a telemarketer call in so long, i'm almost jealous.

[bcw1284]

when they call for me, i tell them I'm dead and answering from beyond the grave... or I let them get through the blah blah and ask if they take disney dollars... no? how about pesos? yin? rubles? that usually gets rid of them.

[bcw1284]

I just hang up on 'em. We get a bunch of collection agency calls at home from someone who used to have our home #. Those are always fun cuz they never believe you when you tell them you have no clue who that person is.

sue them for harassment! call the sawaya law firm! you may be entitled to money damages! :flipoff2:

[Mr. Mojo]

I like what Seinfeld did in one episode.

It went something like this....

Jerry: I'm kind of busy right now but if you give me your home phone number I will call you back tonight.

TM: ......

Jerry: Oh you don't like people calling you at home to talk about selling stuff ? Click !

[ni0h]

GREATEST solicitation call evAr:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

Thank you. The only thing I miss about Indiana more than my family is Bob & Tom.

[Jim B]

Anyone do anything else to screw with them.
When they call up and ask for _____________ just act really enthusiastic, like you don't have the slightest suspicion they're a telemarketer. Ask them to hold on, ____________ is on the other line and he's just about through with the conversation. Make sure to tell them "he'll be right there". ;) Put the phone down and then hang it up about five minutes later or whenever you're sure they've already hung up. This will waste A LOT of their time. :idea:

[Tiffany]

Break in to a sob and tell them he/she was just killed in a car wreck...the go off on them for being so cruel to call at this time.

Or the one from this week at work that had me rolling...my boss answered some telemarketer call at about 6 one night and caller asked for his wife (she is listed as an owner for one of out off-shoot companies and is how we know its a cold call or telemarketer) He said no, that (female dog) doesnt work here anymore, are you the guy who she was (sleeping with) cause if so I will find you and (beat you up really bad) like I did her.

Was hilarious...

[jeepn4evr]

I can't fake cry but I actually thought about doing the whole he just was killed thing. Almost did it to one lady, but then she said she was with some organization that was help kids with Muscular Distrophy. I just told her we wern't interesterested & hung up

[mikee_357]

GREATEST solicitation call evAr:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5z4Vs26-TI

i believe i know what satellite company would be. that is some funny stuff.

[4-rocks]

One of the guys at work answered the phone one day and the person on the other end tried to sell him siding, he politely tells them no and then proceeds to really put the sales pitch to them to buy windows from him. They finally ended up hanging up on him.

[ni0h]

My wife got very upset with me one night when one of those phone polls came in (apparently they're not governed by do-not-call).
I asked the lady if she did a lot of .... "self abuse"... the word that sounds like you're describing being really good at putting worms on hooks. She spluttered and said "no" (yeah, right). I said " too bad, because it would be really good preparation for you to go ***k yourself".

[Budman]

When they call up and ask for _____________ just act really enthusiastic, like you don't have the slightest suspicion they're a telemarketer. Ask them to hold on, ____________ is on the other line and he's just about through with the conversation. Make sure to tell them "he'll be right there". ;) Put the phone down and then hang it up about five minutes later or whenever you're sure they've already hung up. This will waste A LOT of their time. :idea:

I have done this for quite some time, the key is to keep track of how long before the phone starts to beep. The record is 42 minutes by an ATT TM trying to sell me long distance.

ETA: My dad used to have a good one. Back when siding was all the rage... We lived in a log house, but they would still try to sell it even after he told them that. He had a list of people who had wronged him in some way. He would say... "I really am not interested, and just don't have any money right now, but my boss who lives in a HUGE house really needs some siding. He may be resistant because he really does not know the benefits, but if you call him enough, and really stay on him, He will no doubt buy from you. Then he would give them someone from the list's name, phone number, and sometimes the address.

Always good for a laugh.

When long distance was the big thing for TMs. They would call up and offer to save him money on his long distance. He would then proceed to tell them that he NEVER made long distance calls. Then he would explain to them that the only way to save him money would be to send him a check.

Dad: "Are you going to send me a check every month for using your service?"
TM: Well no sir
Dad: Then how are you going to save me money?
TM: Well sir, our rates are blah blah blah...
Dad: If I already spend nothing on Long distance, the only way you can save me money is by giving me money... Now I ask again are you going to send me a monthly check if I sign up?
Sometimes this would go on for quite some time. I never understood why they didn't just hang up on him.

[Mcstiff]

Just a tip, if you do not want them to call back then say "do not call me". If you make up a stupid excuse, not interested, happy with current service, he/she is not available, then you will get kicked back into the system and called back eventually. By saying "Do not call me" if the same company calls you back they can get fined $5k.

[Alpine Spirit]

Here are some ideas you can use for Telemarketers..... and this guy is out of the Springs too. LMAO

http://www.telespank.com/

The one with the hitman is funny as all hell!!! Its Mary Lou, right hand column.

[gmule]

I like to make faint fake sex sounds during the sales pitch. After a while they will ask me if I am ok. Thats when I moan to keep talking because I am almost there. That is when they hang up on me.

[jeepn4evr]

Just had a lady call & ask for my uncle. Asked her what it was about & she said it was for a magazine subscription. Tol her he would have liked that, but he died last week. She said she was sorry & then I said it was pretty horific, body parts everywhere. Said she was sorry again & hung up.

:D