Was he right or wrong

[Budman]

Okay so here is the deal. Friday night 2 of my buddies went out for drinks... Many many drinks. they came back on post and had a few more at the club here. one buddy ;) is standing there talking to the other, and this guy comes up to the two girls standing next to them(they were not talking to the girls they were just standing there). He starts to really lay into one of the ladies. He is right in her face, then he starts to "Chest" her, and put his finger in her face. (they used to date). Now keep in mind that she is there with her new boyfriend and he is not doing anything about this. Then he doubles up his fist, and "Appears" prepped to punch her. This club has security, but they are like 90. My buddy lost His cool a little. He grabbed his wrist, and his throat and they headed for the door. In the process they knocked over a table, with a couple of drinks, but no one got hurt. They make it to the door, and my buddy hand him over to security. They tell him to leave, and ask what happened. My buddy explained the entire thing to them, and offered his name and particulars. A waitress was standing in the middle, and backed up his story, so they said to bo back to having a good time. My buddy cleared the entire thing through His work, and they are cool with it.

Here is My buddies delima. He has cooled off a lot as he has gotten older, but I still find that a couple of things really push my buttons. Once those buttons are pushed, He comes real close to losing it. Now he was pretty controlled in this situation, as he could have really hurt him if he had wanted to, but he did not. My buddy has taken anger management classes, and thinks he has come a long way, but he wonder if maybe he should take some more anger management.


The only real button he have is a man physically messing with a woman. Is this wrong, and should he seek help, or is that a natural button.

Second question is should he have left it be just because he had had a few drinks? Thoughts???

[MountainJeep]

I like your buddy.

He did just fine.

Is this "buddy" of yours actually Budman? You mixed "my" and "his" a few times...

[jredmond]

I think what your buddy did is the right thing.

The other guy was way out of control and your buddy was able to stop the situation before it got out of hand.

[ni0h]

The only possible issue was grabbing the guy and removing him painlessly. That sustained contact sounds like a risk for additional engagement. The jerk was already proven to be willing to use violence against a woman, so a knife from a pocket is a plausible risk. It sounds like your friend is particularly competent in hand to hand combat, so I would think some sort of overwhelming blow to the head would have been the safer, more-reasoned action. Once unconscious, the attacker could be safely removed by grasping one ankle and dragging him out backward, face-down(stairs are a bonus).

[Sound_Man]

You did the right thing.

Additional anger management classes are not in order. There was a great deal of self restraint displayed that shows a great deal of control especially given the fact the alcohol was involved. Handing the woman beater or soon to be woman beater over to security and his unit was the right thing to do.

A man getting physical with a woman is one of those natural buttons that any man should feel getting pushed if they witness what you did. Good job on the restraint, I don't know that I would have done the same.

[mtntj]

Buy your buddy a beer.

[JeepWheelin02]

I think your "buddy" did the right thing Bud. And yes I think that is a natural button.

[Big Dave]

I would've done the exact same thing.

[Scooter]

I like your Buddy!:cool:
I'll buy him a beer.:beer:

[sames]

Its an honorable thing to stand up for and protect those that are unable to do so themselves.

[denverd0n]

...I still find that a couple of things really push my buttons.
Freudian slip? Never mind. It doesn't matter.

I will say that for me it is not a matter of just a guy threatening a woman. I don't like seeing anyone who is obviously much larger wantonly threatening someone who is much smaller and obviously less able to fight back. In that situation I will call on the authorities if I can, or step in if I have to.

I'm not sure my FIRST reaction would have been to grab him by the throat, though. Step in and say something, yes. Be prepared for it to quickly get physical, yes. But I make a point of NEVER being the first one who escalates it to a physical confrontation, unless that is the ONLY option. (And I have been able to avoid that option for about... oh, thirty years now.)

In this case, I would have probably done something like very loudly--I have a voice that really carries--said "HEY SECURITY, COME AND GET THIS ASSHOLE OUT OF HERE!" At that point, if he turned his attention to me, I would have every justification for defending myself. And, of course, if he turned his attention to me then I accomplished my goal of getting him off the woman. And, of course, at that point security is probably on their way over.

On the other hand, let me say that I would not second guess the decisions of someone who was there when I wasn't. I might have done exactly the same thing. You do what you feel you have to do. I have just found that, for me, losing my temper very rarely helps the situation. Doesn't really sound like anyone truly lost their temper in this case, though.

[newracer]

I think "your buddy" did fine.

[deadjeep]

If he is in the clear and the clup has the info on the guy, I would try to have my CO contact his CO and send him off to anger management and threaten a note in his file. Buddy did what I would have done, but I have seen it backfire more than once depending on your command.

[Steve]

On the other hand, let me say that I would not second guess the decisions of someone who was there when I wasn't. I might have done exactly the same thing. You do what you feel you have to do. I have just found that, for me, losing my temper very rarely helps the situation.

x2

I guess my only other thought is that someone who has had to have anger management classes should perhaps not consume "many, many drinks." That never helps any situation.

[Oscar]

Liquid stupid Bud how many time have you seen it. Hell I tried to tackle a screamer bus one night fortunately the telephone pole got in the way.

[Gags]

I may have done worse than that.

Good on your Buddy. Some f@ckers need to be checked. You don't just go around physically intimidating women just because they don't love you anymore.

Physical pain goes away...He should have gotten the "fly-swatter." (for those unfamiliar with the term, it was created by Spy in response to witnessing a kid get his nose broke with an open hand palm strike for talking sh!t)

[scottycards]

Your buddy done good.

Having good intentions can sometimes land one in jail, however, particularly when booze is involved. At trial, history of violence won't serve your buddy well, and no one wins in that scenario. Booze only amplifies it.

After one drink, I'd recommend to buddy to leave any scene at the first sign of potential trouble. That's just my personal opinion, however. I still think your buddy did the right thing, and his intentions were of the highest respectability.

[ThePagan]

I think he showed the righ amount of restraint.

- Shawn

[jeeplvr79]

your buddy did what was needed cause apparently the ex's current pansy b/f didn't have any balls to stand up to him... someone needed to...

[JeepWheelin02]

your buddy did what was needed cause apparently the ex's current pansy b/f didn't have any balls to stand up to him... someone needed to...

I bet if she would have given him the "backhand-from-hell" it woulda been all over.

[GarageWheeler]

I've done exactly what your buddy did on numerous occasions with absolutely no feeling, remorse, or anger. 2 of those times were in Korea, but it was out in small Korean towns where my friend was making a bad impression as an American. I used the sleeper hold in both cases in Korea, then had to drag my friend out of the situation. Decided I needed something a little less debilitating :D .
When a person is beyond reason and out of control, there's really no other solution. It's the quickest and safest way to get things back under control, and whoever has the balls to do it is in the right IMO.
I even pinned a guy that worked for me to the wall with his arm behind his back to keep him from getting in a fight that he instigated, but I wouldn't recommend that one for everyday use :D .
In every situation, I was thanked later by the person I stopped, because I kept them from doing something they'd regret later. I think your "buddy" may get thanked too.

[Willy36]

people these days think theres so much wrong with them and go to classes and pop pills to "fix" it, its ridiculous. nothing out of line about what the buddy did. id say he reacted better than most men would in that situation (at least those who would even confront the guy in the first place). :thumbsup:

[kmon35]

Every time I have stepped in to help someone else, it has turned out poorly for me. Whether it is injury or trouble.

Every time it has, I have said, "This is the last time."

It was, until the next time.

Everyone wants to know if your "buddy" was you, budman. Come clean....HaHA.

[MonkeyBomb]

Kudo's to your "buddy" Most people don't have the intestinal fortitude to stand up for someone else. If we had a few more people like your buddy the world would be a far better place. Used to be that was common place and where you and I grew up it was expected from a man. Of course its a differnt world now................BTW stateside you would be justified by statute anyway for protecting a third party from harm as long as they didn't get hurt too bad.

[Budman]

Every time I have stepped in to help someone else, it has turned out poorly for me. Whether it is injury or trouble.

Every time it has, I have said, "This is the last time."

It was, until the next time.

Everyone wants to know if your "buddy" was you, budman. Come clean....HaHA.

Okay, so I will come clean. I guess I should have proof read it more closely when I changed all the I's to He's... I usually try to stay out of stuff like this, but the guy would not listen when I asked him to knock it off. I even asked his buddy to take him home, but he just ignored me too.

As for the method... It was a difficult tactical scenario. Very crowded... I was in front of him with the lady between him and I, and no room to move around. My buddy and I worked together to make sure we did as little damage as possible. He took the lady aside, and I took the BG to the door. It was not the best situation, but as with most of these guys, once confronted, all he could do was run his mouth...

Anyway, it is all over, I did a memo to CYA, and all is well.

And for Steve... You are completely correct about drinking too much. I have decided to never drink that much again... At least until the next time. (Probably tonight).

I sure figured there would be at least one person tell me what an idiot I am. Guess I fussed about it for no reason.


Thanks all

[Markos]

Reminds me of the opening scene to the movie Con Air...

With combat training + alcohol + historical anger issues, you can get yourself in real trouble if things go south (for the other guy). Personally, I think that 'restraint' would have been contacting security, and informing them of the situation. Most will disagree with me. I'm not saying what you did was wrong or inappropriate, I wasn't there. Just be safe & smart!

[Tiffany]

Restraint is whatever it takes to NOT end up in jail.

[denverd0n]

I have decided to never drink that much again... At least until the next time. (Probably tonight).
Who among us hasn't said THAT before!?!