Divorce thread

[Waifer2112]

Hey, all. I have a friend who is looking at getting divorced. Fortunately for me, I don't have the first idea of what/how she should be going about it, since I've never been married. She was wondering what she should be looking forward to. Like where to go to get the correct papers to start the process, how long different things take, etc. I don't even know what questions to post to help her out. So if anyone has personal knowledge, or knows of an "official" website to explain in layman's terms how to do this, I know she would would greatly appreciate it!!!

I do know she's wanting to not lawyer up, and settle things amicably and cheaply.

TIA!!

[1973CJ5]

Here you go

http://www.coloradodivorcemediation.com/tools/

A friend of mine used this site/service and it worked great for them. Quick and easy.

[ColoradoSkier]

The state of Colorado website has all the forms you need. I went this route with my ex, and aside from her still being a bit of a B&^$ch about it, we saved a bundle.

[sweater]

I do know she's wanting to not lawyer up, and settle things amicably and cheaply.

You can do this without "lawyering up" while still having representation if need be. She would do best to keep in mind that a lawyer might need to be brought in - not to fight, not to go for the throat, but to relieve tension that might build from the process.

As stated, all the forms are there and the process is fairly straightforward, but she'd be well advised to know her rights as far as property and such, as well as her responsibilities (what she can keep, what she can't, how things get divided, etc). Even in an amicable, straightforward dissolution, the use of outside help (mediator or lawyer) can be pretty useful since this is a legal decision that's pretty damn difficult to change once it's filed.

If need be, I have an excellent referral.

- mike

[Jake_Blues]

You just go up to them and say "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee". Then you throw dog poopie on their shoes.

-E

[jeeplvr79]

I did the paperwork for my own divorce and we had a child but no property so was pretty easy.... most of the forms are online

As far as the length of the process... I filed in Sept 2004, had temp custody hearing a couple months later and the final hearing in March 2005 ... so it does take some time for the papers to go through the court system.

Here is the Colorado state website with ALL the forms and instructions...

http://www.courts.state.co.us/chs/court/forms/domestic/newcase.htm

[JKTODD]

Good thread.:)

[Waifer2112]

Thanks for all the replies. I forgot to mention there are no children involved, so that's a plus all the way around. I sent her a link to this thread, and I'm sure she's very grateful for all the help. :thumbsup: :beer: :beer: :beer:

[scottycards]

You just go up to them and say "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee". Then you throw dog poopie on their shoes.

-E

Excellent reference. :thumbsup: Super funny, E.

[Waifer2112]

You just go up to them and say "I break with thee, I break with thee, I break with thee". Then you throw dog poopie on their shoes.

-E

I betcha she wishes it was that easy!

[CapnCrunch]

When my ex and I split back in 1990, I went to the library and looked up/filled out the paperwork and filed. 90 days later we were divorced (this was in Washington State). Was quick and easy to do, but both of us were very cooperative with each other.

A few years ago, a friend of mine was going to do the same thing. No lawyers. Just get through it without battling. She called me late one night crying her eyes out. Turns out at the last minute her (now ex-) husband brought in a lawyer and stuck it to her. I mean really stuck it to her. She got nothing (house, retirement, savings, etc). And he was the one who cheated on her AND told her he wanted a divorce (ON September 11th, 2001 after the news broke out no less).

The moral of the story is that she should be damn sure she can trust him to treat her fairly. Otherwise, she should really get a lawyer to protect herself is she has anything to lose.

[skulltoy]

Here you go

http://www.coloradodivorcemediation.com/tools/

A friend of mine used this site/service and it worked great for them. Quick and easy.

I actually used these guys too, and would recommend them as well.

[OrangeCrush]

http://www.courts.state.co.us/chs/court/forms/domestic/jdf1096.pdf

That is what I did, "I am in the 90 day get me the hell outta this" period
We had already produced our own MOU regarding children/college/childcare and separated all property and financial statements.

[BurbLover]

My ex & I did it ourselves a few years ago in Co Springs. We picked up a do-it-yourself packet from the courthouse. I think it was like $25. The packet explaine deverything that we needed to do. We didn't have any kids, but we did have a house together and a few joint bill.

Once we got the paperwork done, I dropped it off at the courthouse and then we had to wait 90 days (IIRC) for it to be final. Fortunately, we were able to keep it pretty civil.

In hindsight, the biggest thing I did wrong was not document enough. We had agreed to split some things. Since some things were not in writing, I had to give in on a few things (I was supposed to get camper, but she later decided to sell and split $$) to hav eher agree to not halt the paperwork.

Anyway, I wish her good luck. And PM me if she has any other specific questions. I'd be glad to help where I can.

As for the online sites, I have no experience with them.

[Waifer2112]

Anyway, I wish her good luck. And PM me if she has any other specific questions. I'd be glad to help where I can.

As for the online sites, I have no experience with them.

Thanks a bunch, man. :beer:

[Budman]

What I did not see mentioned in here is that if you don't want to do all this yourself, and you don't want to spend the big $$$ on a lawyer, you can always get a paralegal to file the paperwork for you. I strongly reccommend against even talking to a lawyer. My ex and I tried to hire one just to file the papers. She ended up telling me that she could only rep the ex, and I had to go pay for one too. We spent $9000 to essentially make a process we could have done online for $300 harder. They were trying to get us to fight at every turn of the hat. We knew what we wanted and only needed them to write up the papers and help us file. They kept trying to sneak things into the papers to throw the other person into a tail spin.


They are a PITA...

[S&LUnlimited]

A friend of mine told me this when I was going thru my divorce. I thought it could be done amicably, that we would stay friends for the sake of the kids, blah, blah, blah. He said, "at the end, you won't be friends, you won't like her at all and if she was on fire across the street, you wouldn't walk over there to piss on her to put her out." :eek:

Of course, I told him he was full of crap....................but he was right.

My advice........get an attorney. Money well spent and if it truly ends up being amicable, it will only be slightly more than "the cheap way". If'n it gets ugly part way thru the process.....then the attorneys can take off the gloves and there is no time wasted "lawyering up".

[CherryokeeXJ]

I have nothing to offer. Just sorry to hear she's going through it. My folks split up, and they both wouldn't have lost so much hair over it if they'd just acted like adults. Hope they can manage that so it's no harder than it has to be.

[sweater]

She got nothing (house, retirement, savings, etc).

Like I mentioned, these are legal, court-backed decisions that are very hard to change once they're in place. I know of too many people who regret how their divorce ended up, and have essentially given up trying to change anything after the fact.

There's no rush here. Do some research and keep your options open.

- mike

[HillBillyMan]

Go through the state site and print it all out. Both can sign it as uncontested and everything agreed upon already. It will cost her $197.00. 90 days later it's done. As long as neither one fights anything. About 80 more days for mine to go.